Aside from last month's glitter experience, one of my most memorable meals was the Thanksgiving dinner I cooked for my whole family the year my grandmother died.

My grandmother and I were very close.  She practically raised me.  Within the last two years of her life, I took a large portion of the responsibility for taking care of her as she suffered through terminal illness.

The spitfire that she was, she would not let us hire home healthcare.  She refused to go to a nursing home.  We practically had to threaten to call the cops to convince her to stop driving (she's lucky she didn't kill someone). She used to complain incessantly that the local kids were taking a key to the side of her car.  One day, I drove by and saw her pulling into her driveway and we realized that the scratches appeared because she was scraping the car alongside the bricks of her house.

We would have to call her every night at 6:00pm and 9:00pm to make sure she was home and all right.  She refused all creature comforts.  I often tried to buy cable for her but she refused to allow the cable guy inside the house.

She died three weeks before my 30^th birthday and her death caused a chasm in my family.  Everyone tried not to fight with one another but no one got along (worse than usual).  My grandmother's death put an enormous strain on our family and changed the dynamics of all our relationships, as we knew them.

I decided to cook Thanksgiving Dinner for everyone.  I spent about a week preparing.  Both my cousins, Michele and Caryn stayed with me and helped me prepare.  I wanted everything to be perfect and home made.

Now, my home is nestled in the middle of the woods.  I have decorated it to resemble a cozy cottage (sky lodge).  I have all Adirondack style furniture and my table settings were no different. I used tablecloths that my mother cross-stitched as a child, my good china and silver, my best wine glasses.  I created place cards for everyone out of chocolate. I made a fire in the woodstove and mulled apple cider on the top with fresh oranges and pears in it.

I began the meal with a citrus salad.  Then I made (one of my signature dishes) a squash soup that I served out of a large ceramic pumpkin into smaller pumpkin bowls with a dollop of crème fresh.  I brined and basted a turkey – it turned out to be the best turkey I've ever made.  I made a wild rice and bacon stuffing with fresh farm bread; mashed potatoes; sweet potato casserole with marshmallow topping; homemade cranberry sauce; asparagus and string beans with almonds.

To drink, I began with apple cider hot toddies; then I served a Simi Chardonnay with dinner and coffee/tea with dessert.

For dessert, I made a deep-dish spiced apple pie (a family favorite) and a homemade pumpkin pie with calvados whipped cream.

For the first – and last time – my entire extended family gathered together in love.  We mourned the loss of our collective matriarch and bonded.  That thanksgiving dinner turned into a truly healing meal.